Do Therapists Think About Their Clients? The Peculiar Bonds of Healing

Grief Trigger warning

Many people quietly wonder whether their therapist ever thinks about them outside the therapy hour. They wonder whether the connection they feel in the room continues beyond the session.

Therapy Is a Relationship Unlike Any Other

Being a therapist is a strange and meaningful profession. We sit with people at their most vulnerable moments and witness the quiet unfolding of their struggles and triumphs. It is a place where the tapestry of emotions unfolds in ways that often defy explanation and is frequently unnatural in the real world. We dwell with individuals at their most vulnerable, witnessing the ebb and flow of their struggles and triumphs. The stories shared in the therapy room cut deeper than those in conventional relationships, revealing intimate details that seldom see the light of day. We see the real human….messy, raw, complicated, and indescribably beautiful Yet, within this authenticity, a subtle power differential exists – a nuanced dance between presence and disclosure, all orchestrated to benefit you, my client. 🎭💖

Caring Deeply While Holding Professional Boundaries

In this peculiar profession, the paradox is palpable. I am here to care deeply about you but must navigate the boundaries carefully, ensuring I don't overstep. The role extends beyond the therapy hour; I root for you, cheer you on, and find myself shedding tears when life throws challenges your way. Despite these emotional investments, it's crucial to remember that, in the end, I am not your friend. The struggle emerges when thoughts of you linger between sessions, prompting an internal debate about sharing a meme or initiating a casual greeting if our paths cross in public. Professional ethics, however, dictate that I cannot. I must always default to your lead, urging me to wait for you to make the first move. 🤔🤝

These relationships formed in the sanctuary of therapy are sometimes exclusive, and shared only by the two individuals involved. As time progresses, clients may naturally drift away, and despite the deep connections forged, we often lose touch.

Yet, the paradox persists: the therapeutic relationship is a relationship nonetheless. My clients touch my life as profoundly as I touch theirs, forming an emotional bond that transcends the realm of financial transactions. 💼💓

The Clients Who Stay With Us

As the years pass, reflections inevitably emerge about those who have woven through my professional journey, leaving a lasting impact. Did my time with them make a meaningful difference? Did their lives change for the better? Some clients pass through swiftly, their details fading from memory like fragments of a dream, but others, those forever imprinted in my heart, stay with me, becoming an indelible part of my own narrative. 📅📝

When a Former Client Passes Away

Thinking back to my early career as a school guidance counselor, I remember the "kiddos" who, even in adulthood, still hold a significant place in my heart. Today, the news of one of these forever kiddos passing reached me. It's a peculiar experience to witness the child you once knew grow into an adult, and you can't help but hope they are navigating the complexities of adulthood with resilience. The passing of a client prompts a cascade of questions about the impact I've had – did it matter? Did I genuinely help them along their journey? Did they know how deeply they were loved and supported? 🌟❤️

Today, the weight of emotions manifested in freely flowing tears, and a part of my heart broke. Not because my life is destined for a drastic change, but because, as a fellow human, I bid farewell to someone cherished. Someone I loved. A fellow life traveler, I was fortunate enough to guide. When you wonder if your therapist thinks of you between sessions, the resounding answer is yes. We think of you, root for you, and even shed tears long after our official time together ends. As therapists, we navigate the intricacies of our clients' lives, hoping that, in some meaningful way, we contributed to positive change. 🌈💔

Therapy relationships are professional and still deeply human. So, if you’ve ever wondered whether your therapist thinks of you after sessions end, the answer is yes. Many of us carry our clients in our hearts long after the therapy hour is over.⏰ ❤️

Questions People Often Ask About the Therapy Relationship

Do therapists think about their clients between sessions?

Yes. Many therapists naturally reflect on their clients between sessions, especially when preparing for future work together. While therapists maintain professional boundaries, the people they work with often stay on their minds as they hope for their growth and healing.

Why can’t therapists say hello first in public?

Therapists are trained to protect client privacy. If we greeted a client first in public, it could unintentionally reveal that the person is in therapy. Because of this, therapists usually wait for the client to acknowledge them first.

Do therapists care about their clients?

Yes. Healthy therapy involves genuine care and compassion. Therapists are trained to balance empathy with professional boundaries so they can support clients effectively without the relationship becoming confusing or harmful.

Do therapists remember their clients after therapy ends?

Often, yes. Some clients fade from memory over time, but many remain meaningful parts of a therapist’s professional journey. The work done together can leave a lasting impression on both people involved.

Considering Therapy?

Therapy relationships are unique spaces where trust, vulnerability, and healing can unfold over time. If you're looking for support with burnout, sensitivity, trauma, or life transitions, you can learn more about my approach to therapy here:

Online Therapy for Neurodivergent and Highly Sensitive Adults in Florida

🔟 10 Ways Trauma Impacts Has Impacted My Money and Financial Life 💰

How childhood trauma can shape financial decisions, scarcity fears, and self-worth.

When Trauma Quietly Shows Up in Our Financial Decisions

I was working with my business coach, who also happens to be a trauma specialist, 🗣️💼 and we were talking about the choice I made to go back on insurance panels. I explained that I thought we were going to have a recession, and I was doing this to help prevent a decrease in income. She noted that a recession has not yet hit and I did this over a year ago, and that this was a trauma response to predict bad things before they happen. She also noted that my trying to put things in place to prevent them from happening…so as not to get hurt, is also a trauma reaction.  Ugh, insert a stab into the heart here. I knew this. I am a trauma specialist. Unfortunately, what keeps us safe as children, like other trauma responses, can hinder us in adulthood. However, I never really stopped to think how my trauma may show up in my finances-despite a lifelong battle of internal fighting to give myself permission to spend money on things that were for me. So, this is my list of how my finances are impacted by my trauma. Hopefully, in naming them, I will begin to let them go, and help you, the reader, in the process. 💭💡

 How Trauma Can Shape Our Relationship With Money

Common Trauma Patterns That Impact Finances

1. Prediction- I try and predict when there will be lulls in money flow-and adjust to prevent them. How this is rooted in my trauma: growing up in a home where the adults were unpredictable, I had to learn how to anticipate and adapt to their needs to survive. 🏠🔄

2. Fear of Lack-I struggle with the beliefs that lack and maybe even create some lack by spending more than I should when I am in flow. This type of all or nothing thinking comes from my trauma-in that when things were good, they were really good. When things were bad, they were really bad. I learned to take advantage of the good times because I learned to believe that the next bad thing was just around the corner. That belief, while I have worked on it in my personal life, and things are stable, has poured over in my financial life. Take advantage of the good., know the next dry spell is coming. Rather than balancing the ebbs and flows by preparing by saving. 💰💔

3. Putting others first, even if it is to my own detriment. When I make a commitment to others, I like to keep my word. However, sometimes, from a financial standpoint, I struggle to make adaptations to long term commitments because I worry that it will hut others financially, and I feel I can take the financial hit better or easier than they could. This stems from feeling like, as the oldest, I needed to protect my siblings from the chaos in our world. I could take the emotional hits because as the oldest, I understood more of what was happening. 👫🤝

4. Limiting spending on myself, willing to spend on others. This comes from being the oldest and being told I need to take care of the little ones first, because they don’t know what is going on. I became a parentified child-and have continued to put myself last because others may need it more. 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦🤷‍♂️

5. Avoidance-wanting to avoid when I feel overwhelmed with money. Frequently, if my account is too low or if I need to make a big purchase-my anxiety kicks in and I want to just avoid the whole thing. I will typically have an internal freak out, then eventually make a decision-after trying to figure out all that could go wrong. Again, troubleshooting before there is an actual problem. 🌪️💼

6. Hyper-independence-Struggling to ask for help. I know there are others out there that are better at this than I am. That being said, I struggle to ask for help. This hyper independence is a trauma response-it was not safe to ask for help, you may be yelled at, criticized or shamed. It was figure it out, you got this. However, finances don’t necessarily work that way. You have to understand and be taught them and figuring it out can be costly. 🚫🆘

7. Anger towards money. I get angry that others seem to have it easier, that were helped along the way. I get angry when I feel like I have worked so hard, and it’s not flowing. The truth is, this is a part of my trauma. I worked so hard for (fill in the blank here, my degree, my home, my job) and it was not celebrated in an about me way. So, when I work hard, and the finances are not where I want them to be, it feels like once again, things are not showing up. 😡💸

8. Inferiority-Seeing myself as inadequate, I worry. Especially, as I raise my fees, that others will not want to pay me. I feel inadequate because I always felt like “not enough” growing up. This formed a core belief- when you expect a child to take on adult responsibilities, they frequently come up short. 🥺📈

9. Value by contribution-Constant battle with workaholism. I must be actively aware of how much I work. My value came from what I could contribute. Working feels like contributing and I feel in control, even if I am not getting paid. 💼🏃‍♂️

10. People pleasing. I struggle with charging more. Why? Because I want to make my clients happy-so I work with them and have actively had to learn how to hold the line on my fee. It can be hard, and if I am in a bad space, I am more likely to give myself away. The feelings of inadequacy come up. My trauma taught me that people pleasing, also known as fawning was a way to get my needs met. In fee setting, people pleasing helps the other person, and may harm my finances, which eventually could make it so I am less able to help. 😊📊

 Healing Our Financial Relationship With Money

So, after years of working on my trauma reaction. I am beginning to level up. I am working on setting fees that are right for me and for my family. As I do this work, and rest assured it is work, I am so thankful that I have people, like my coach, understand and call me out on it. I will continue to work on healing this area of my trauma, after all, I am worth it. 💪💫

If You Recognize Yourself in These Patterns

• You constantly worry about financial instability even when things are stable
• You struggle to spend money on yourself but feel comfortable spending on others
• You overwork because your worth feels tied to productivity
• You fear raising your rates or charging what your work is worth
• You feel anxious or avoidant when dealing with finances

Questions People Often Ask About Trauma and Money

Can trauma affect how we handle money?

Yes. Trauma can shape beliefs about safety, scarcity, self-worth, and control, which often show up in financial habits.

Why do I feel anxious when making financial decisions?

For many people with trauma histories, money decisions can trigger fears of instability, loss, or judgment.

Can therapy help with money-related trauma patterns?

Yes. Therapy can help identify underlying beliefs about safety, scarcity, and worth so that financial decisions can come from clarity rather than fear.

Why do trauma survivors struggle with charging for their work?

Many trauma survivors develop people-pleasing patterns or beliefs that their needs matter less than others, which can make pricing and boundaries difficult.

If you’re exploring therapy to work through trauma patterns like these, you can learn more about my approach to therapy here:

Working with Laura

Vulnerability in the Counseling setting

I want to talk with you about what it is like to be vulnerable when you come into a counselor's office. A lot of people when they come in for the first time, may have not even sought out help before, or may have been struggling seeing someone but they weren't the right fit. A lot of times they have experienced that pain of rejection by other people as well. So coming in and talking to someone about your deepest secrets can often be difficult.

So how is a counselor different from just having a friend? A counselor is capable of looking at things from a non-harsh point and can help you see things from a clearer vision. It is often difficult to be vulnerable with that person because they are essentially a total stranger. The good news is that most counselors have sat on that side of the couch as well and should be able to help you talk about stuff that is extremely difficult and maybe even painful.

Now, does this come easily and quickly? Sometimes it doesn't, and that is not unusual. I have worked with clients for a long time and they will still say "I was afraid to share that with you because I was afraid that you might judge me or make a mean comment about it." The thing about a really good counselor is they are not there to judge you. They are there to help you resolve whatever issues might be happening. The vulnerability piece is definitely difficult but our job is to help you figure out what the pain is that you're experiencing and then help you work through the pain

It is not unusual for people to hang on to things like sexual abuse for a long time and when you approach that subject a client may pull back and say "I’m not ready to deal with that." If you are that patient that is not ready to deal with it, your counselor should give you the space and say "okay we're not going to deal with that right now but we'll come back to it.”

Vulnerability is tough for most people but when you're going into a counselor, don't think that they expect you to give all of your deepest darkest secrets immediately. We are also human beings and we recognize that some things are just too painful to share. However, we also know that if you share it we can work on the healing process. When you get to the other side, you are going to feel a lot better.

Now, knowing a little about the healing process, it is often relieving when you first start sharing your information. If you think about the therapy process as being in a tunnel, when you first go in you might see a little bit of light, but the further you go in the tunnel the darker it may get. Sometimes it gets darker before you see the light again, so expect that when going into the therapy process. Your counselor is there to be with you every step of the way as you're going through that process and opening yourself up.

As a therapist, I know it's hard and I understand how difficult vulnerability can be, however I also know that if you work through the process, there is so much healing on the other end.

My suggestion to you would be to find a therapist that you really trust, and open up to them because they are here to help you heal. I hope this helps! If you've been having some doubts about whether or not you can share something with your therapist and if you have been holding things in, please reach out to them. They are there for you!

If you would like to work with me, visit the “New Patient Registration” link to get started!