When the World Feels Heavy: A Mother and Therapist Reflects on Grief, Compassion, and Choosing Love

Grief Trigger Warning

Sometimes the world feels very heavy.
This is what was on my heart this morning.

Many people, especially highly sensitive and compassionate people, feel deeply affected by suffering in the world. When violence, war, or tragedy appear in the news, it can leave us feeling overwhelmed, heartbroken, or powerless.

Before anything else, I am a mother.

Yes, I am Laura.
I am a therapist.
I am a wife and partner, a sister, a daughter. I am many things in this life. But when my children were born, something shifted in me in a way that is hard to explain to anyone who has not experienced it.

No matter what other roles I hold in this world, I am always a mother first.

And this morning I woke up heavy.

The Grief Mothers Carry Across the World

There are little girls who left for school and never came home. An occurrence that should never happen, yet is repeated. There are mothers waiting for sons and daughters who may never return from war. There are children who will grow up without the parents who once held them. Every life lost is someone’s child.

Across oceans and across languages I can imagine the sound a mother makes when she realizes her child is gone. I can imagine that same sound from mothers here at home who fear for their children’s safety.

Grief like that needs no translation.

I struggle to understand how humans reach a place where violence becomes acceptable. Even the smallest forms of harm make me pause, so the loss of human life, any human life, feels unbearable to me.

When the World Feels Heavy and We Feel Powerless

I hear people say thoughts and prayers, and I know that is often a reaction to feeling powerless.

I feel powerless too.

And if I am honest, I am angry.

I feel anger toward the leaders and systems that move the world closer to violence instead of healing. I feel anger when human life begins to feel expendable in public conversations.

Part of me wants to shout that the people making these decisions should have to face the consequences themselves.

And another part of me remembers that every soldier, every child, every person caught in conflict is still someone’s child. Still innocent. Still loved by a mother somewhere.

Holding those two truths at the same time is painful.

The Connection Between Love, Anger, and Compassion

The anger I feel is real, but underneath it is something deeper.

Because hate is not the opposite of love.

Hate is the shadow side of love.

You only feel that kind of anger when something you love deeply feels threatened.

And what I love is life.
Children.
Families.
The fragile miracle that any of us are here at all.

Choosing Compassion in a World That Feels Heavy

Feeling grief for the world does not mean something is wrong with you; often it means your compassion is still very much alive. So I refuse to add more hatred to a world that already has too much of it.

Instead, I will do what I can.

I will do my best to help heal the people who sit across from me in my therapy room. I will raise my children to be compassionate humans. I will keep choosing love even on the days when anger would be easier.

I cannot change the entire world.

But I can care deeply for the small corner of it that is mine.

Today I grieve for mothers everywhere. The mothers across the ocean whose language I will never speak. The mothers here at home worried about their own children. The mothers who will wake up tomorrow and ask themselves what they did wrong.

Grief needs no translation.

Because when you are a mother, every child feels a little bit like your own.

The grief I feel today is the shadow of my compassion. It is what compassion looks like when it runs into a world that still chooses violence.

If I did not care so deeply about life, about children, about families, I would not feel this pain.

So I will not try to silence it.

I will let it remind me why compassion matters.

Maybe my small voice will not change the world.

But maybe it adds one small kernel of compassion to it.

And maybe, just maybe, that still matters.

I will honor that my vulnerability, my compassion, and my love are my strength.

If This Resonates With You

This reflection may resonate with you if:

• You feel overwhelmed or heartbroken when you hear about suffering in the world
• You are a highly sensitive or deeply compassionate person
• World events sometimes leave you feeling powerless or heavy
• You care deeply about humanity but struggle with how to hold that compassion without becoming overwhelmed
• You are trying to raise children with empathy and kindness in a complicated world

Feeling deeply is not a weakness. Often, it is a reflection of your capacity for compassion.

Questions People Often Ask When the World Feels Heavy

Why do world events affect me so strongly?
Many highly sensitive or empathetic people feel the suffering of others deeply. Hearing about tragedy, violence, or injustice can activate grief, fear, and compassion all at once.

Is it normal to feel both anger and compassion at the same time?
Yes. Anger often emerges when something we deeply love feels threatened. It is possible to hold anger and compassion together without letting anger turn into hatred.

How can I care about the world without becoming overwhelmed?
One way is to focus on the areas where you do have influence—your family, your community, your relationships. Compassion becomes sustainable when we channel it into meaningful action within our own sphere.

Can therapy help if the world feels emotionally overwhelming?
Yes. Therapy can help highly sensitive and compassionate people learn how to hold grief, anger, and empathy without becoming emotionally depleted.

Sailing Smoothly: Carnival Cruise Lines and KultureCity Partner to Create Sensory-Friendly Vacations and 11 Tips for Sailing with Sensory Issues

Recently, I embarked on my second cruise adventure with Carnival Cruise Lines and had a sensory-sensitive revelation that I just had to share. While I'm far from a cruise expert, I felt compelled to commend Carnival Cruise Lines for their remarkable partnership with KultureCity, transforming the cruise experience for travelers like me who have heightened sensory awareness.

My first cruise, a pre-Covid 3-day voyage to Cancun, Mexico, was undeniably enjoyable. It was just my husband and I, and not having to worry about food or kids…as well as meeting some friends, really made the cruise a vacation. However, as someone who tends to get overwhelmed by excessive stimulation, spending three days amidst a bustling cruise ship presented it’s challenges. Navigating through the mid-deck to reach food became a sensory journey of its own: music blaring, casino bells chiming, the scent of smoke wafting through the air, abrupt temperature shifts as I moved from indoor to outdoor areas, and the constant shift in lighting conditions. Not to mention, the sheer number of fellow passengers made it feel overwhelming. To avoid the crowd, I often resorted to traversing the lower decks, even though it meant a longer route. Our cabin, though a welcome retreat, was positioned in a high-traffic hallway, making uninterrupted sleep a rare luxury for this light sleeper.

So, when my husband proposed a second cruise as a special gift for my 50th birthday, my initial reaction was mixed. On one hand, the prospect of not having to worry about cooking and cleanup for a week was enticing. (Have I mentioned how much I hate cooking, well not actually cooking, it’s the clean-up) On the other hand, I wondered if I would once again be engulfed in sensory overload. This time, however, I came prepared. I packed my Loop earplugs (see my unboxing video here) and my trusty essential oils. I also brought a fan to help with temperature control. Excitement and apprehension warred within me as I contemplated five days on the cruise ship, sharing a cabin with our teenagers. Would I endure sensory overwhelm, potentially ruining our vacation?

As a therapist who specializes in working with Highly Sensitive People and neurodivergent individuals, and being a sensitive person myself, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Carnival Cruise Lines had made significant adjustments to address issues for those of us prone to sensory sensitivities. It was heartening to see that they had implemented measures to accommodate passengers like me.

So, what exactly does being Sensory Certified entail? It means that Carnival now has customer-facing staff trained to understand the unique needs of individuals with various sensory challenges, including Down Syndrome, Autism, ADHD, PTSD, and more. Carnival, in collaboration with KultureCity, introduced VIP Lanyards that staff could use to easily identify passengers who might require additional support. One of the highlights of our cruise was the silent disco night held on the mid-deck, which attracted a substantial crowd. In addition, the nightclubs now featured closed doors to minimize disruptions to those passing by. A welcome change from my initial cruise with Carnival.

First, the lines for food were noticeably shorter, reducing the sensory stress of waiting in crowded spaces. Second, their updated HUB app allowed guests to make reservations at their assigned restaurant, receiving a convenient text notification when their table was ready. This allowed for us to hang out in quieter spaces while waiting. However, the most remarkable change was Carnival's introduction of sensory kits that could be borrowed during the cruise. To my immense joy and that of my sensory-sensitive family, Carnival had forged a partnership with the non-profit organization, "KultureCity," becoming the first Sensory Certified cruise line in the process..

For me, these thoughtful changes made my cruise an absolute delight. Carnival Cruise Lines' commitment to inclusivity and their partnership with KultureCity have transformed the cruise experience for individuals like me, turning what could have been a sensory overload into a genuinely enjoyable vacation. Whether you're a seasoned cruiser or considering your first voyage, Carnival's dedication to creating a sensory-friendly environment deserves recognition and applause.

In a twist of fate, our initially planned 5-day cruise turned into a memorable 7-day journey as we found ourselves tailing a hurricane, which resulted in the closure of our intended ports of call. During these unforeseen extra days at sea, Carnival Cruise Lines truly shone in their commitment to ensuring the well-being and satisfaction of their guests. The crew, with a special shout out to Todd (T-O- double “D”) for sharing his positive energy, went above and beyond to keep everyone informed about the situation, making regular announcements and providing updates on the evolving weather conditions. Despite the unexpected extension of our voyage, Carnival continued to offer top-notch service and entertainment, maintaining the high standards they are known for. It was a testament to their dedication that, even in the face of an unforeseen challenge, they managed to turn it into an adventure, and our extended cruise became a treasured memory.

---

Now, for those who may embark on a cruise with sensory sensitivities like mine, here are some valuable tips to enhance your experience:

---

Your 11 Tips to To Cruising with Sensory Issues

1. **Travel with Headphones/Earplugs:** Always carry noise-canceling headphones or earplugs to create your personal oasis amidst the ship's vibrant atmosphere.

2. **Choose a Quieter Room Location:** Opt for staterooms located toward the front or back of the ship to minimize exposure to constant foot traffic and public spaces.

3. **Select Rooms Below Inactive Decks:** Avoid rooms beneath active decks or venues to reduce disturbances from overhead activities.

4. **Be Cautious of Casino Proximity:** Stay away from rooms near the casino if you're sensitive to cigarette smoke to avoid unpleasant odors.

5. **Bring a Portable Fan:** Portable fans offer white noise and temperature control, creating a comfortable and peaceful environment.

6. **Consider Inside Cabins for Sleep:** Inside cabins may lack views but are often quieter and ideal for restful sleep.

7. **Request a Sensory Kit Early:** Contact guest services early in your cruise to request a sensory kit for managing sensitivities.

8. **Make Restaurant Reservations Online:** Use the cruise line's app or platform to reserve tables and avoid long waits in crowded dining areas.

9. **Discover Quiet Spots:** Explore the ship to find serene, secluded areas that resonate with you for moments of relaxation.

10. **Pack Sunglasses:** Sunglasses reduce glare and enhance outdoor comfort, shielding your eyes from bright sunlight.

11. **Adjust Your Schedule:** Plan activities during off-peak hours to avoid crowds and enjoy popular attractions with fewer people around.

For more information about Carnival Cruise Lines' Sensory Certification, you can visit their official website here. To learn more about KultureCity's partnership with Carnival, please visit their website here.

Keywords: Carnival Cruise Lines, KultureCity, Sensory Certified cruise line, sensory-sensitive travelers, neurodivergent, highly sensitive people, sensory overload, cruise vacation, sensory kit, VIP Lanyards, silent disco night, weighted blankets, sensory games, conversation cards, hurricane extension, exceptional guest care, cruising tips for sensitive travelers, sensitive therapist, Florida

I think I might be highly sensitive, now what?

Remember, self love sometimes means saying NO.

Self Care Momma, Self Care

As a single person, I did so much better with self care. I worked hard, played hard and remembered to take time for me. It was not unusual for me to work all day, take a nap, work all night, then go out and dance. Actually, it was my norm…oh the energy of your 20’s!  In my early 30’s, I slowed down, but still managed self care, yoga, art classes, reading books, exercise. Life was good…I still was busy, but life was good.

Then I had children. Now I love being a Mom, please don’t get me wrong.  The reality is though, once my kids came along, my self care took a hit. Art classes were replaced with coloring books and doing kid focused art projects, fun but not as rewarding. Yoga was replaced with baby and me classes, reading was a luxury that I know longer had time for, unless it was that five minutes sitting on the commode…when I didn’t get interrupted. (Okay, you all know I did not read, because what Mom can go to the bathroom for five minutes and not get interrupted?) Exercise consisted of chasing a toddler while wearing an infant. I simply did not have time, or maybe didn’t make the time.  I was caught up in motherhood.

My kids are a bit older now, 5 and 9. I am making more time for me…I work out on occasion. I read more. I spend more time with me. I have registered for a lot on online classes, but seem to get distracted before finishing them. There are many days I long for more me time, and know that instead I need to be mom.  There are other days that I feel like, “Forget those kids, I need me time. ”  Then the Momma guilt kicks in. The thing is I often feel like there just isn’t enough time to do EVERYTHING I NEED to do, let alone everything I WANT to do…so how can I have me time?  Or that is how I thought. Then some shifts happened in my personal life, and I realized, I can’t afford not to take time out for me. You see, my lack of self care wasn’t just affecting me, it was affecting those that I loved. I was tired. Not like your normal tired. I was bone dry, exhausted, overwhelmed and tapped out.  I didn’t laugh as much, and I most certainly wasn’t fun to  be around.  Fairly frequently, I was grumpy, maybe down right, well you know.

I began my self care slowly. I actually took days off  while the kids were in school, and slept. I began building my friendships again. I scheduled nights out, with the girls…and appreciated other women making me laugh and relating to the craziness that is motherhood.  I reconnected with my tribe. My husband and I went on dates, and became friends again. I started getting manicures and pedicures…and not beating myself up for time wasted.  I said “no” more.  What I realized, was that I became a better wife, a better mother, a better therapist, and a  better enterpreneur. I was a healthier person when I took care of myself first.  It continues to be a journey.  Sometimes, I say yes too much. Sometimes, I feel guilt for not being able to be there for someone. Sometimes,  I still long for my single days, where I just cared for me.  Sometimes, I hear other people say spend as much time with your kids as you can, they grow up fast and feel sad. I also try to remember that when I take time for me, I am taking time for them too.  In it all, I just try and find balance, and not let any one area get so far out of  line that I end up dropping all areas.  For you see, yes, I am a Mom  and a Wife and  a friend and a therapist and an entrepreneur and a school volunteer and (put your own “and” in here). However,  I am a person first.  A person with limited time and energy.  A person who loves being all those things so much, that she knows she has to pull in, to do all of those things well, some of the time. So Momma, let go of the guilt. Go do something for you, and remember, you are doing it for your kids….they need to see you making yourself a priority, so they learn how to make themselves a priority.

Enjoying my blog? Check out my Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/sagesynergy/

Love and Healing,

Laura

I am not pefect, I am a therapist!

I had a friend say to me, “Oh my god, I am so glad to hear you lose it, it makes me feel better to know you are a therapist and sometimes lose your cool.”  Uhm, yes…I am human. I lose my mind, I curse, at times I do stupid stuff…this morning, half way through my morning, I realized I had my pants on backwards…they are yoga pants, do they really have a front and a back?  The thing is, when you are sitting on this side of the couch, it is easy to appear like you have it all together and you are perfect. Spend twenty minutes with me though, and you will know that is far from how I see myself.  Far from how I live my life.

I make mistakes. My kids drive me crazy. Sometimes, I yell and then have the Mommy guilt afterward. I forget to get my oil changed. I frequently lose my keys.  Occasionally, I want to leave it all behind and go sit drinking some kind of fru-fru drink in Bora Bora.  I am human. It is that humaneness that gives me compassion, kindness and understanding of my clients. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.  I have been on both sides of the couch, and well the therapist that just sits there, and does not show me their humanity, is not the one I want or need. I need to know that you are real…that you screw up. How do you expect me to be vulnerable with you, if I think that you are perfect? I hope that I can offer my clients the same. I hope that they can see my imperfections, and feel safe to be vulnerable…I mean that whole opening yourself up is hard enough…let alone to someone who can’t let you see them.

As I sit across the couch from you, there is no judgement. Why? Because I know you are learning. I know what if feels like to try to figure out your path, and to fall off of it. I screw up too.  I want those in my life to offer me the same kind of positive regard I try and offer my clients. There are going to be times I am off base, run late, or am just struggling. There are times when I have had an argument with a loved one, and while I try to check it at the door, and be fully present for you,  my thoughts may wander for a minute. I could try and hide it, but as my client, you will see I don’t hide my emotions well, and comment.  I will own it, and refocus. There will be other times, that I see and feel your pain so deeply, that I will tear up with you. My focus so on that you will think I have read your mind. You see, I am not perfect. I see it in you, and you see it in me.

I often joke that perfection is like a unicorn, you can chase it all day, but even if you do catch it, it will end up being a goat. No one is perfect. However, I am perfectly imperfect. I own my imperfections.  I try and make them better. I try and make healthy choices, and sometimes I royally mess things up. However, I learn.  That is my gift to my clients. I learn and I am willing to share those experiences with you. I am willing to be real with you. In doing so, I create a safe place to witness your mistakes because I was fortunate enough to have someone along the line witness mine. They held me accountable with love, and now that I have done a good deal of healing, I can do the same for you. Hopefully, as we go through the process of healing, you are learning too.  You will fall down, you will feel guilt, but in being your authentic self, you allow someone else to see you, which opens the door to healing wounds.  That is the point of this whole exercise right? To learn, grow, change and find greater happiness? If we can embrace our humanity, and allow ourselves to love each other regardless…this thing we call life might just get a little easier.